i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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