I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
