Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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