it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
