Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
please come you make the beer taste better
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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