It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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