when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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