i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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