why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
