If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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