omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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