I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
