I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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