dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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