do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
