They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
