is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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