the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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