Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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