operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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