I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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