I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
