Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
