You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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