I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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