Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
