I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
