i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
