after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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