Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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