ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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