I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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