Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just gargled with NyQuil
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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