Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
