I need help removing her.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
