I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
