its not stalking. its research.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
