check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
