I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize