I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
