Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
