We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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