We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
