I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
