You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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