so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
