Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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