Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think I sprained my soul last night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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