if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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