i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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