OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
