Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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