This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I faked an abortion last night.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
