Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
3 2 1 whiskey
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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