well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
