On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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