did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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