So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
