Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
