the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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