Soap is not a condiment
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
