either way he was missing a nipple.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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