Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
