Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
