Im at strip club and am horny
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
