Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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