fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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